Monday, 3 June 2013

Largest collection of Marriage Quotes 1

 I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. ☞ Max Kauffman

Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in shade. ☞ Leo Buscaglia

Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. ☞ James C. Dobson

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. ☞ Lord Byron

The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane. ☞ Joseph Collins

We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It’s called love. ☞ Gene Perret

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love. ☞ Jackie Gleason

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. ☞ Bill Cosby,

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it. ☞ Lyndon B. Johnson

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. ☞ Ian Hay

Some marriages break up, and some do not, and in our world you can usually explain the former better than the latter. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I’d hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit. ☞ Jerry Hall

The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life. ☞ Richard Steele,

After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her – and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. ☞ Helen Rowland

Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan. ☞ Quentin Crisp

Wives are young men’s mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men’s nurses. ☞ Francis Bacon, "Of Marriage and Single Life,"

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." ☞ Herbert Spencer

He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. ☞ Mae West

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. ☞ A.P. Herbert

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake. ☞ Elbert Hubbard

What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow. ☞ Nathaniel Hawthorne

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ☞ H.L. Mencken,

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly. ☞ Peter De Vries

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ☞ Rita Rudner

Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. ☞ Ambrose Bierce,

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. ☞ George Bernard Shaw

It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight. ☞ John Stevenson

Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. ☞ Author Unknown

Mother-in-law: a woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. ☞ Author Unknown

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. ☞ Author Unknown

Wedding rings: the world’s smallest handcuffs. ☞ Author Unknown

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. ☞ Oscar Wilde

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. ☞ Stephen Leacock,

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. ☞ American Proverb

Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition. ☞ Samuel Pepys

Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is. ☞ Author Unknown

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. ☞ Ambrose Bierce,

Marriage is not a word – it is a sentence. ☞ Author Unknown

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition – with the possible exception of closet space. ☞ Gene Perret

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first. ☞ Adela Rogers St. Johns

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ☞ Sacha Guitry,

It isn’t tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it’s separating himself from all the others. ☞ Helen Rowland,

Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. ☞ Marlene Dietrich

So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three. ☞ Alexandre Dumas

Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect behind her. ☞ Ambrose Bierce,

If your husband and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie? ☞ Author Unknown

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ☞ George Levinger

Love-matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. ☞ Countess of Blessington

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. ☞ Sydney J. Harris

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger. ☞ George Eliot

The husband who doesn’t tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn’t know won’t hurt him. ☞ Leo J. Burke

You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self. ☞ Jerry

McCant Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. ☞ Jefferson Machamer

It’s easy to understand love at first sight, but how do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years? ☞ Author Unknown The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. ☞ Honore de Balzac,

Never marry for money. Ye’ll borrow it cheaper. ☞ Scottish Proverb

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. ☞ Henny Youngman

It’s a nasty divorce when they can’t agree on how to divvy up the His and Hers towels. ☞ Robert Brault

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. ☞ Gabriel García Márquez

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. ☞ Tommy Manville

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ☞ Socrates

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ☞ Ruth Bell Graham

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

One man’s folly is another man’s wife. ☞ Helen Rowland

Women hope men will change after marriage but they don’t; men hope women won’t change but they do. ☞ Bettina Arndt,

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. ☞ English Proverb

Wedlock is the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise lounge. ☞ Mrs Patrick Campbell

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. ☞ Marilyn Monroe

A perfect marriage is one in which "I’m sorry" is said just often enough. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine. ☞ Honore de Balzac

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too. ☞ H.L. Mencken

Someone once asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. ☞ Gloria Steinem

Courtship to marriage is as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. ☞ William Congreve,

If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books. ☞ Alan King

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake. ☞ Alexander Pope,

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. ☞ Evelyn Hendrickso

When the one man loves the one woman and the one woman loves the one man, the very angels desert heaven and come and sit in that house and sing for joy. ☞ The Brahma Sutras

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. ☞ Author Unknown

If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t marry. ☞ Anton Chekov

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle. ☞ Heinrich Heine

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him. ☞ Cher

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest. ☞ Kin Hubbard

Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in? ☞ Ralph Waldo Emerson,

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. ☞ Prince Philip

You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding. ☞ Jim

It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble. ☞ Kenny

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she’s a householder. ☞ Thornton Wilder

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single. ☞ H.L. Mencken

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance. ☞ Michel de Montaigne I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he’d be dead within the year. ☞ Bette Davis

Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. ☞ Madeleine de Scudery

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it. ☞ Josh Billings

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does. ☞ Groucho Marx

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married? ☞ Barbra Streisand

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married. ☞ Benjamin Disraeli

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar, a custom which is still continued. ☞ Helen Rowland,

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again…. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. ☞ Enid Bagnold,

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

The highest happiness on earth is marriage. ☞ William Lyon Phelps

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they’re married. ☞ Kin Hubbard

Two mothers-in-law. ☞ Lord John Russell

Though women are angels, yet wedlock’s the devil. ☞ Byron,

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. ☞ Joey Adams

A question asked in a Surrey school exam went: "Why do cocks crow early every morning?" A twelve-year-old replied: "My dad says they have to make the most of it while the hens are asleep." ☞ Quoted in the

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. ☞ H.L. Mencken

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert. ☞ Austin O’Malley

One shouldn’t be too inquisitive in life Either about God’s secrets or one’s wife. ☞ Geoffrey Chaucer,

A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers. ☞ African Proverb

A woman ought to look up to her husband, if only a half-inch. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills. A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor. ☞ Paul-Jean Toulet

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

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