Famous Quotes, Quotation and Sayings

Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive. ☞ Juvenal,

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. ☞ Nick Faldo

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

The reason they’re called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled – it’s just the opposite! ☞ Walter Winchell

By the time you’re his Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying. ☞ Dorothy Parker

Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale. ☞ Robert Graves

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse – as a man shoots himself. ☞ H.L. Mencken

My wife tells me she doesn’t care what I do when I’m away, as long as I’m not enjoying it. ☞ Lee Trevino

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up. ☞ Ogden Nash

"What’s for dinner?" is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Most marriages can survive "better or worse." The tester is all the years of "exactly the same." ☞ Robert Brault

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages. ☞ Barry Goldwater

People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images. The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is. ☞ James L. Framo

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. ☞ H.L. Mencken

I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance, A church filled with family and friends. I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for, He said one that would make me his wife. ☞ Author Unknown

No man expects a great deal from marriage. He is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse. ☞ Author Unknown

Think not because you are now wed That all your courtship’s at an end. ☞ Antonio Hurtado de Mendoza

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse. ☞ Arthur Baer

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. ☞ Lewis Grizzard

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. ☞ Martin Luther

Alimony – The ransom that the happy pay to the devil. ☞ H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae,"

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. ☞ Author Unknown

Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. ☞ Zsa Zsa Gabor

I’ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I’ve thought again. ☞ Noel Coward

Thus Dante’s motto over Inferno applies with equal force to marriage: "Ye who enter here leave all hope behind." ☞ Emma Goldman,

Wasn’t marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded. Wasn’t it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt. ☞ Edna Ferber,

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? ☞ Author Unknown

Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness. ☞ Virginie des Rieux,

Wedlock is a padlock. ☞ John Ray,

The marriage of convenience has this to recommend it: we are better judges of convenience than we are of love. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. ☞ Samuel Lichtenberg

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. ☞ H.V. Prochnow

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. ☞ John

Mortimer, One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. ☞ M.M. Musselman

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. ☞ Irwin Corey

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. ☞ Katharine Houghton Hepburn

The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. ☞ Bertrand Russell,

Love, the strongest and deepest element in all life, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; how can such an all-compelling force be synonymous with that poor little State- and church-begotten weed, marriage? ☞ Emma Goldman,

What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love. ☞ William Penn

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. ☞ Emma Goldman,

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. ☞ Billy Connolly

Marriage is nature’s way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child. ☞ Robert Brault

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night. ☞ St. Jerome,

[M]y mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they’ll never get all the pennies out of the pot. ☞ Armistead Maupin,

The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous. ☞ H.L. Mencken

One thing you learn in a long marriage is how many sneezes to wait before saying, "Bless you." ☞ Robert Brault

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended. ☞ Zsa Zsa Gabor

The concern that some women show at the absence of their husbands, does not arise from their not seeing them and being with them, but from their apprehension that their husbands are enjoying pleasures in which they do not participate, and which, from their being at a distance, they have not the power of interrupting. ☞ Michel de Montaigne

But married once, a man is stak’d or pown’d, and cannot graze beyond his own hedge. ☞ Philip Massinger,

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ☞ François

Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don’t? Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator. ☞ Author Unknown

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. ☞ Marie Corelli

Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband. ☞ Kin Hubbard

Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work. ☞ Author Unknown

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ☞ Simone Signoret

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ☞ Barnett R. Brickner

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ☞ Anne Taylor Fleming

Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night. ☞ Paul Hornung

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ☞ Doug Larson

Divorce: The past tense of marriage. ☞ Author Unknown

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. ☞ Judith Viorst

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ☞ Katherine Hepburn

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ☞ Robert Anderson,

There is no such cozy combination as man and wife. ☞ Menander

It destroys one’s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. ☞ Benjamin Disraeli

The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity. ☞ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ☞ Phyllis Diller,

In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all. ☞ Anne Sophie Swetchine

In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced. ☞ Robert Sexton

An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit. ☞ Pliny the Younger,

If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a hell of a lot of overlapping. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. ☞ W. Somerset Maugham

If two stand shoulder to shoulder against the gods, Happy together, the gods themselves are helpless Against them while they stand so. ☞ Maxwell Anderson

After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6º of marriage! ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship. ☞ Iris Murdoch

English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. ☞ Author Unknown

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ☞ Paul Sweeney

Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an account the florist had. ☞ Francis Rodman

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. ☞ Beverley Nichols

Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is. ☞ Author Unknown

Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage. ☞ Finnish Proverb

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. ☞ James H. Boren