Famous Quotes, Quotation and Sayings

Free Memory Quotes collection! Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things. ☞ Pierce Harris,

We do not remember days; we remember moments. ☞ Cesare Pavese,

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. ☞ Josh Billings

Memory… is the diary that we all carry about with us. ☞ Oscar Wilde

She glances at the photo, and the pilot light of memory flickers in her eyes. ☞ Frank Deford

The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time. ☞ Friedrich Nietzsche

Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories. ☞ From the movie

It’s surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time. ☞ Barbara Kingsolver,

Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth, but not its twin. ☞ Barbara Kingsolver,

It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life. ☞ P.D. James

And even if you were in some prison, the walls of which let none of the sounds of the world come to your senses – would you not then still have your childhood, that precious, kingly possession, that treasure-house of memories? ☞ Rainer Maria Rilke

The leaves of memory seemed to make A mournful rustling in the dark. ☞ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume. ☞ Jean de Boufflers

One need not be a chamber to be haunted; One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing Material place. ☞ Emily Dickinson

I have memories – but only a fool stores his past in the future. ☞ David Gerrold

A happy childhood can’t be cured. Mine’ll hang around my neck like a rainbow, that’s all, instead of a noose. ☞ Hortense Calisher,

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. ☞ Saul Bellow

Memory itself is an internal rumour. ☞ George Santayana,

A childhood is what anyone wants to remember of it. It leaves behind no fossils, except perhaps in fiction. ☞ Carol Shields

It is singular how soon we lose the impression of what ceases to be constantly before us. A year impairs, a luster obliterates. There is little distinct left without an effort of memory, then indeed the lights are rekindled for a moment – but who can be sure that the Imagination is not the torch-bearer? ☞ Lord Byron

What we remember from childhood we remember forever – permanent ghosts,

stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen. ☞ Cynthia Ozick

The past is never dead, it is not even past. ☞ William Faulkner

The existence of forgetting has never been proved: We only know that some things don’t come to mind when we want them. ☞ Friedrich Nietzsche

Leftovers in their less visible form are called memories. Stored in the refrigerator of the mind and the cupboard of the heart. ☞ Thomas Fuller

Footfalls echo in the memory Down the passage which we did not take Towards the door we never opened ☞ T.S. Eliot

Memory is what tells a man that his wife’s birthday was yesterday. ☞ Mario Rocco

To live in hearts we leave behind Is not to die. ☞ Thomas Campbell,

In memory’s telephoto lens, far objects are magnified. ☞ John Updike

Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember. ☞ Seneca

The happiest memories are of moments that ended when they should have. ☞ Robert Brault

Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains; another, a moonlit beach; a third, a family dinner of pot roast and sweet potatoes during a myrtle-mad August in a Midwestern town. Smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant land mines hidden under the weedy mass of years. Hit a tripwire of smell and memories explode all at once. A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth. ☞ Diane Ackerman,

I am a miser of my memories of you And will not spend them. ☞ Witter Bynner

The man with a clear conscience probably has a poor memory. ☞ Author Unknown

The sense of smell can be extraordinarily evocative, bringing back pictures as sharp as photographs of scenes that had left the conscious mind. ☞ Thalassa Cruso,

The two offices of memory are collection and distribution. ☞ Samuel Johnson

The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant. ☞ Salvador Dali

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it. ☞ Michel de Montaigne

I’m always fascinated by the way memory diffuses fact. ☞ Diane Sawyer

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose. ☞ From the television show

A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen. ☞ Edward de Bono

Every man’s memory is his private literature. ☞ Aldous Huxley

God gave us memories that we might have roses in December. ☞ J.M. Barrie,

Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food. ☞ Austin O’Malley

The faintest waft is sometimes enough to induce feelings of hunger or anticipation, or to transport you back through time and space to a long-forgotten moment in your childhood. It can overwhelm you in an instant or simply tease you, creeping into your consciousness slowly and evaporating almost the moment it is detected. ☞ Stephen Lacey,

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. ☞ Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

Some men are so macho they’ll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit. ☞ Maureen Murphy

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ☞ Author Unknown

What’s with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? ☞ Erma Bombeck

A hard man is good to find. ☞ Mae West

Men like a woman with a daring tongue. That’s a double-entendre, which reminds me they also like a ménage à trois. ☞ Carrie Latet

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house. ☞ Jean Kerr

A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position. ☞ Oscar Wilde

Women are one of the Almighty’s enigmas to prove to men that He knows more than they do. ☞ Ellen Glasgow

The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework into just as much of a charade as business is now. They would hire secretaries and buy computers and fly off to housework conferences in Bermuda, but they’d never clean anything. ☞ Dave Barry

Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch. ☞ Ian Fleming

The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs. ☞ Marlene Dietrich

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that. ☞ Steve Martin

We have rudiments of reverence for the human body, but we consider as nothing the rape of the human mind. ☞ Eric Hoffer

The mind is like an iceberg, it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water. ☞ Sigmund Freud

All sorts of bodily diseases are produced by half-used minds. ☞ George Bernard Shaw

If the mind, that rules the body, ever so far forgets itself as to trample on its slave, the slave is never generous enough to forgive the injury, but will rise and smite the oppressor. ☞ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The mind is the most capricious of insects – flitting, fluttering. ☞ Virginia Woolf

No mind, however loving, could bear to see plainly into all the recesses of another mind. ☞ Arnold Bennett

Impressions arriving at the brain make it enter into activity, just as food falling into the stomach excites it to more abundant secretion of gastric juice. ☞ Pierre Cabanis

That’s the classical mind at work, runs fine inside but looks dingy on the surface. ☞ Robert T. Pirsig

The mind is like a trunk: if well-packed, it holds almost every thing; if ill-packed, next to nothing. ☞ Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare,

You must weed your mind as you would weed your garden. ☞ Astrid Alauda,

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment. ☞ Iara Gassen

A mental stain can neither be blotted out by the passage of time nor washed away by any waters. ☞ Cicero

The mind I love must have wild places, a tangled orchard where dark damsons drop in the heavy grass, an overgrown little wood, the chance of a snake or two, a pool that nobody’s fathomed the depth of, and paths threaded with flowers planted by the mind. ☞ Katherine Mansfield

Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds. ☞ Franklin D. Roosevelt

[W]ith an unquiet mind, neither exercise, nor diet, nor physick can be of much use. ☞ Samuel Johnson

Perhaps God gives us a physical body so that every time we change our mind, we won’t be someone else. ☞ Robert Brault

The Brain – is wider than the Sky - For – put them side by side - The one the other will contain With ease – and You – beside…. The Brain is just the weight of God - For – Heft them – Pound for Pound - And they will differ – if they do - As Syllable from Sound. ☞ Emily Dickinson

Few minds are sunlike, sources of light in themselves and to others: many more are moons that shine with a borrowed radiance. One may easily distinguish the two: the former are always full; the latter only now and then, when their suns are shining full upon them. ☞ Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare,

Pain of mind is worse than pain of body. ☞ Latin Proverb

Body and mind, like man and wife, do not always agree to die together. ☞ Charles Caleb Colton

According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scarring than almost anything else… ☞ J.K. Rowling, "The Second War Begins,"

Bodies devoid of mind are as statues in the market place. ☞ Euripides

Sometimes it’s harder to attain inner silence than outer silence. The dog stopped barking and the kids have gone to bed, but your mind has a lot to talk about and it knows you can’t pretend you’re not at home. ☞ Linda Solegato

The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size. ☞ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Some minds are made of blotting-paper: you can write nothing on them distinctly. They swallow the ink, and you find a large spot. ☞ Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare,

Some minds seem almost to create themselves, springing up under every disadvantage and working their solitary but irresistible way through a thousand obstacles. ☞ Washington Irving,

Sometimes I suffer from indigestion of the mind. ☞ Carrie Latet

Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort. ☞ Charles Dickens,

It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it. ☞ Mark Twain

It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion. ☞ Horace

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him. ☞ Mae West

My theory is that men are no more liberated than women. ☞ Indira Gandhi

All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others. ☞ Cynthia Heimel

If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle. ☞ Rita Mae Brown

The rule in the women’s colleges was that after 7 p.m. all men were beasts. Up until 7 p.m. they were all angels, and the girls simply had to learn to live with that routine and practise love in the afternoon. ☞ Harry G. Johnson

No man stands so straight as when he stoops to help a boy. ☞ Knights of Pythagoras

Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. ☞ Attributed to both Marion Smith and Nicole Hollander

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ☞ Katharine Hepburn

If it can’t be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it’s a female problem. ☞ Jason Love

When a man of forty falls in love with a girl of twenty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own. ☞ Lenore Coffee

No nice men are good at getting taxis. ☞ Katherine Whitehorn, the

The first time you buy a house you see how pretty the paint is and buy it. The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. It’s the same with men. ☞ Lupe Velez

Women’s Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It’s the men who are discriminated against. They can’t bear children. And no one’s likely to do anything about that. ☞ Golda Meir

Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself – like, for instance, he can’t find any clean socks. ☞ Jean Kerr,

The tragedy of machismo is that a man is never quite man enough. ☞ Germaine Greer

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his. ☞ Oscar Wilde,

I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire? ☞ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men’s behavior is measured with a feminine ruler. ☞ Francesca M. Cancian

A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth – and endures all the rest. ☞ Helen Rowland

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute. ☞ Author Unknown

Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can’t help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It’s because we can’t see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. ☞ Andy Rooney

It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. ☞ Helen Rowland

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. ☞ Lana Turner

Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are. ☞ Oscar Wilde,

When you see a woman who can go nowhere without a staff of admirers, it is not so much because they think she is beautiful, it is because she has told them they are handsome. ☞ Jean Giraudoux

If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? ☞ Linda Ellerbee

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. ☞ Clare Booth Luce

There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper. ☞ Camille Paglia

It’s a man’s world, and you men can have it. ☞ Katherine Anne Porter

I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don’t know one who wouldn’t fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink. ☞ George Jean Nathan

Men were made for war. Without it they wandered greyly about, getting under the feet of the women, who were trying to organize the really important things of life. ☞ Alice Thomas Ellis

Sometimes I think if there was a third sex men wouldn’t get so much as a glance from me. ☞ Amanda Vail

He is every other inch a gentleman. ☞ Rebecca West

A man’s heart may have a secret sanctuary where only one woman may enter, but it is full of little anterooms which are seldom vacant. ☞ Helen Rowland

A lot of guys think the larger a woman’s breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don’t think it works like that. I think it’s the opposite. I think the larger a woman’s breasts are, the less intelligent the men become. ☞ Anita Wise

On the one hand, we’ll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars. ☞ Bruce Willis

God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time. ☞ Robin Williams

Alas! it is not the child but the boy that generally survives in the man. ☞ Arthur Helps,

Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

What’s the matter with you guys? The sight of blonde hair knocks you three rungs down on the evolutionary ladder. ☞ From the television show

The analysis of man discloses three chemical elements – a job, a meal and a woman. ☞ Martin H. Fischer

The only difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys. ☞ Author Unknown

A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job. ☞ Ella Harris

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. ☞ Henry Louis Mencken

Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It’s possible that both are right. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

I like naked women. I’m a bloke. I’m supposed to like them. We’re born like that. We like naked women as soon as we’re pulled out of one…. When man invented fire, he didn’t say, "Hey, let’s cook." He said, "Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark"… The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms. ☞ Coupling

There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance. ☞ Author Unknown

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near. ☞ Helen Rowland

Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with. ☞ Author Unknown

I can eat a man, but I’m not sure of the fiber content. ☞ Jenny Eclair

I make presents to the mother but think of the daughter. ☞ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you. ☞ Mae West

Men Quotes exclusive quotes collection ever! Women are the right age for just a few years; men, for most of their lives. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Did you hear about the baby born with organs of both sexes? It had a penis and a brain. ☞ Author Unknown

There’s nothing wrong with most men’s egos that the kowtowing of a headwaiter can’t cure. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. ☞ James Shubert

Men are only as loyal as their options. ☞ Bill Maher

Stop? I’m the guy. I don’t stop! That’s the woman’s job. We’re the gas, they’re the brakes. ☞ Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel,

Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. ☞ Katharine Hepburn

Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man. ☞ Erica Jong

The hardest task in a girl’s life is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious. ☞ Helen Rowland

I’m a babe magnet… just the wrong end. ☞ Author Unknown

Every woman must admit, and every man with as much sense as a woman, that it’s very hard to make a home for any man if he’s always in it. ☞ Winifred Kirkland

I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself. ☞ Yoko Ono

God made man stronger but not necessarily more intelligent. He gave women intuition and femininity. And, used properly, that combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met. ☞ Farrah Fawcett

Many a man owes his success to his first wife, and his second wife to his success. ☞ Jim Backus

Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of women’s pants. ☞ Oleg Kiselev

Three wise men – are you serious? ☞ Author Unknown

There’s a difference between beauty and charm. A beautiful woman is one I notice. A charming woman is one who notices me. ☞ John Erskine

What is the difference between men and women? A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, and a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. ☞ Author Unknown

When it comes to hiding porn, every man is a CIA agent. ☞ S.A. Sachs

Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is. ☞ Author Unknown

Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse. ☞ Dave Barry

If they can put one man on the moon why can’t they put them all there? ☞ Chocolate Waters

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. ☞ Natalie Wood

If men had more up top we’d need less up front. ☞ Jaci Stephen

Men lose more conquests by their own awkwardness than by any virtue in the woman. ☞ Ninon de Lenclos

Don’t accept rides from strange men – and remember that all men are as strange as hell. ☞ Robin Morgan

Men can read maps better than women. ‘Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. ☞ Roseanne Barr

A man is two people, himself and his cock. A man always takes his friend to the party. Of the two, the friend is the nicer, being more able to show his feelings. ☞ Beryl Bainbridge

Men are beasts and even beasts don’t behave as they do. ☞ Brigitte Bardot

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. ☞ Madame de Staël

‘Tis strange what a man may do, and a woman yet think him an angel. ☞ William Makepeace Thackeray

Guys are like roses. You’ve got to watch out for the pricks. ☞ Author Unknown

Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses providing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man as twice its natural size. ☞ Virginia Woolf,

It’s not the men in my life, it’s the life in my men. ☞ Mae West

Macho doesn’t prove mucho. ☞ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Some men have a den in their home, while others just growl all over the house. ☞ Author Unknown

How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he’s going to wind up wanting hasn’t even been born. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. ☞ Jerry Seinfeld

A man’s home may be his castle on the outside; inside, it is more often his nursery. ☞ Clare Booth Luce

You [men] are not our protectors…. If you were, who would there be to protect us from? ☞ Mary Edwards Walker

Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography. ☞ Robert Byrne

Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man. ☞ William Shakespeare,

Men are clinging to football on a level we aren’t even aware of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It’s our Alamo. ☞ Tony Kornheiser

 It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it. ☞ Mark Twain It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion. ☞ Horace We have rudiments of reverence for the human body, but we consider as nothing the rape of the human mind. ☞ Eric Hoffer

The mind, once expanded to the dimensions of larger ideas, never returns to its original size. ☞ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Some minds are made of blotting-paper: you can write nothing on them distinctly. They swallow the ink, and you find a large spot. ☞ Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare,

Some minds seem almost to create themselves, springing up under every disadvantage and working their solitary but irresistible way through a thousand obstacles. ☞ Washington Irving,

Sometimes I suffer from indigestion of the mind. ☞ Carrie Latet

Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort. ☞ Charles Dickens,

The mind is like an iceberg, it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water. ☞ Sigmund Freud

All sorts of bodily diseases are produced by half-used minds. ☞ George Bernard Shaw

If the mind, that rules the body, ever so far forgets itself as to trample on its slave, the slave is never generous enough to forgive the injury, but will rise and smite the oppressor. ☞ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The mind is the most capricious of insects – flitting, fluttering. ☞ Virginia Woolf

No mind, however loving, could bear to see plainly into all the recesses of another mind. ☞ Arnold Bennett

Impressions arriving at the brain make it enter into activity, just as food falling into the stomach excites it to more abundant secretion of gastric juice. ☞ Pierre Cabanis

That’s the classical mind at work, runs fine inside but looks dingy on the surface. ☞ Robert T. Pirsig

The mind is like a trunk: if well-packed, it holds almost every thing; if ill-packed, next to nothing. ☞ Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare,

You must weed your mind as you would weed your garden. ☞ Astrid Alauda,

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment. ☞ Iara Gassen

A mental stain can neither be blotted out by the passage of time nor washed away by any waters. ☞ Cicero

The mind I love must have wild places, a tangled orchard where dark damsons drop in the heavy grass, an overgrown little wood, the chance of a snake or two, a pool that nobody’s fathomed the depth of, and paths threaded with flowers planted by the mind. ☞ Katherine Mansfield

Men are not prisoners of fate, but prisoners of their own minds. ☞ Franklin D. Roosevelt [W]ith an unquiet mind, neither exercise, nor diet, nor physick can be of much use. ☞ Samuel Johnson

Perhaps God gives us a physical body so that every time we change our mind, we won’t be someone else. ☞ Robert Brault

The Brain – is wider than the Sky - For – put them side by side - The one the other will contain With ease – and You – beside…. The Brain is just the weight of God - For – Heft them – Pound for Pound - And they will differ – if they do - As Syllable from Sound. ☞ Emily Dickinson

Few minds are sunlike, sources of light in themselves and to others: many more are moons that shine with a borrowed radiance. One may easily distinguish the two: the former are always full; the latter only now and then, when their suns are shining full upon them. ☞ Augustus William Hare and Julius Charles Hare,

Pain of mind is worse than pain of body. ☞ Latin Proverb

Body and mind, like man and wife, do not always agree to die together. ☞ Charles Caleb Colton

According to Madam Pomfrey, thoughts could leave deeper scarring than almost anything else… ☞ J.K. Rowling, "The Second War Begins,"

Bodies devoid of mind are as statues in the market place. ☞ Euripides

Sometimes it’s harder to attain inner silence than outer silence. The dog stopped barking and the kids have gone to bed, but your mind has a lot to talk about and it knows you can’t pretend you’re not at home. ☞ Linda Solegato

 Just because you make mistakes doesn’t mean you are one. ☞ Author Unknown

Truth will sooner come out of error than from confusion. ☞ Francis Bacon

Admit your errors before someone else exaggerates them. ☞ Andrew V. Mason

Errors to be dangerous must have a great deal of truth mingled with them. It is only from this alliance that they can ever obtain an extensive circulation. ☞ Sydney Smith

If you shut your door to all errors truth will be shut out. ☞ Rabindranath Tagore,

A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery. ☞ James Joyce,

In the game of life it’s a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season. ☞ Bill Vaughan

From the errors of others, a wise man corrects his own. ☞ Syrus

It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit to forgive them for having witnessed your own. ☞ Jessamyn West

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. ☞ Elbert Hubbard,

Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life. ☞ Sophia Loren

It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something. ☞ Ornette Coleman

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. ☞ John Peel

Never say, "oops." Always say, "Ah, interesting." ☞ Author Unknown

If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems. And that’s a big mistake. ☞ F. Wikzek

While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior. ☞ Henry C. Link

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. ☞ Niels Bohr

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying… that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. ☞ Alexander Pope, in Swift,

That’s not serious; it’s just human. ☞ Jerry Kopke

The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing. ☞ John Powell

The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. ☞ Edward Phelps

Making mistakes simply means you are learning faster. ☞ Weston H. Agor

If a mistake is not a stepping stone, it is a mistake. ☞ Eli Siegel

You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. ☞ Colette

Unto those Three Things which the Ancients held impossible, there should be added this Fourth, to find a Book Printed without erratas. ☞ Alfonso de Cartagena

As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes. ☞ Mel Brooks

Our blunders mostly come from letting our wishes interpret our duties. ☞ Author Unknown

When we make mistakes they call it evil. When God makes mistakes they call it Nature! ☞ Jack Nicholson in

Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player. ☞ Author Unknown

Mistakes fail in their mission of helping the person who blames them on the other fellow. ☞ Henry S. Haskins

Error is a hardy plant; it flourishes in every soil. ☞ Martin F. Tupper

When you realize you’ve made a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm. ☞ Dan Heist

Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom. ☞ Phyllis Theroux,

The essence of success is that it is never necessary to think of a new idea oneself. It is far better to wait until somebody else does it, and then to copy him in every detail, except his mistakes. ☞ Aubrey Menen

 Whoever one is, and wherever one is, one is always in the wrong if one is rude. ~ Maurice Baring

I don’t think you want too much sincerity in society. It would be like an iron girder in a house of cards. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Good manners can replace morals. It may be years before anyone knows if what you are doing is right. But if what you are doing is nice, it will be immediately evident. ~ P.J. O’Rourke

Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference. ~ Cesare Pavese,

It’s not a slam at you when people are rude – it’s a slam at the people they’ve met before. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. ~ Author Unknown

Is man a savage at heart, skinned o’er with fragile Manners? Or is savagery but a faint taint in the natural man’s gentility, which erupts now and again like pimples on an angel’s arse? ~ John Barth,

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. ~ Author Unknown

Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use. ~ Emily Post

Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

To disagree, one doesn’t have to be disagreeable. ~ Barry M. Goldwater and Jack Casserly,

Politeness is the art of choosing among one’s real thoughts. ~ Abel Stevens

Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were. ~ Author Unknown

The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones. ~ Gabirol (Solomon ben Yehuda ibn Gabirol),

Learn young about hard work and manners – and you’ll be through the whole dirty mess and nicely dead again before you know it. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald

Good manners: The noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup. ~ Bennett Cerf

A man that should call everything by its right name would hardly pass the streets without being knocked down as a common enemy. ~ Lord Halifax

There can be no defence like elaborate courtesy. ~ E.V. Lucas

Visitors should behave in such a way that the host and hostess feel at home. ~ J.S. Farynski

Outcomes rarely turn on grand gestures or the art of the deal, but on whether you’ve sent someone a thank-you note. ~ Bernie Brillstein,

Many who would not take the last cookie would take the last lifeboat. ~ Mignon McLaughlin,

People count up the faults of those who keep them waiting. ~ French Proverb

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. ~ Ambrose Bierce,

Life be not so short but that there is always time for courtesy. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength. ~ Eric Hoffer

Says the rude child: "No, I won’t do it." Says the courteous grown-up: "Yes, I won’t do it." ~Mignon McLaughlin,

Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive. ☞ Juvenal,

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. ☞ Nick Faldo

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

The reason they’re called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled – it’s just the opposite! ☞ Walter Winchell

By the time you’re his Shivering and sighing, And he vows his passion is Infinite, undying Lady, make a note of this: One of you is lying. ☞ Dorothy Parker

Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale. ☞ Robert Graves

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse – as a man shoots himself. ☞ H.L. Mencken

My wife tells me she doesn’t care what I do when I’m away, as long as I’m not enjoying it. ☞ Lee Trevino

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up. ☞ Ogden Nash

"What’s for dinner?" is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Most marriages can survive "better or worse." The tester is all the years of "exactly the same." ☞ Robert Brault

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages. ☞ Barry Goldwater

People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images. The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is. ☞ James L. Framo

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. ☞ H.L. Mencken

I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance, A church filled with family and friends. I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for, He said one that would make me his wife. ☞ Author Unknown

No man expects a great deal from marriage. He is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse. ☞ Author Unknown

Think not because you are now wed That all your courtship’s at an end. ☞ Antonio Hurtado de Mendoza

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse. ☞ Arthur Baer

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. ☞ Lewis Grizzard

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. ☞ Martin Luther

Alimony – The ransom that the happy pay to the devil. ☞ H.L. Mencken, "Sententiae,"

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. ☞ Author Unknown

Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. ☞ Zsa Zsa Gabor

I’ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I’ve thought again. ☞ Noel Coward

Thus Dante’s motto over Inferno applies with equal force to marriage: "Ye who enter here leave all hope behind." ☞ Emma Goldman,

Wasn’t marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded. Wasn’t it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt. ☞ Edna Ferber,

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? ☞ Author Unknown

Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness. ☞ Virginie des Rieux,

Wedlock is a padlock. ☞ John Ray,

The marriage of convenience has this to recommend it: we are better judges of convenience than we are of love. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. ☞ Samuel Lichtenberg

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. ☞ H.V. Prochnow

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. ☞ John

Mortimer, One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. ☞ M.M. Musselman

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. ☞ Irwin Corey

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. ☞ Katharine Houghton Hepburn

The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. ☞ Bertrand Russell,

Love, the strongest and deepest element in all life, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; how can such an all-compelling force be synonymous with that poor little State- and church-begotten weed, marriage? ☞ Emma Goldman,

What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love. ☞ William Penn

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. ☞ Emma Goldman,

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. ☞ Billy Connolly

Marriage is nature’s way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child. ☞ Robert Brault

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night. ☞ St. Jerome,

[M]y mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they’ll never get all the pennies out of the pot. ☞ Armistead Maupin,

The way to hold a husband is to keep him a little jealous; the way to lose him is to keep him a little more jealous. ☞ H.L. Mencken

One thing you learn in a long marriage is how many sneezes to wait before saying, "Bless you." ☞ Robert Brault

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended. ☞ Zsa Zsa Gabor

The concern that some women show at the absence of their husbands, does not arise from their not seeing them and being with them, but from their apprehension that their husbands are enjoying pleasures in which they do not participate, and which, from their being at a distance, they have not the power of interrupting. ☞ Michel de Montaigne

But married once, a man is stak’d or pown’d, and cannot graze beyond his own hedge. ☞ Philip Massinger,

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ☞ François

Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don’t? Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator. ☞ Author Unknown

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. ☞ Marie Corelli

Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband. ☞ Kin Hubbard

Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work. ☞ Author Unknown

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ☞ Simone Signoret

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ☞ Barnett R. Brickner

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ☞ Anne Taylor Fleming

Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night. ☞ Paul Hornung

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ☞ Doug Larson

Divorce: The past tense of marriage. ☞ Author Unknown

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. ☞ Judith Viorst

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ☞ Katherine Hepburn

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ☞ Robert Anderson,

There is no such cozy combination as man and wife. ☞ Menander

It destroys one’s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. ☞ Benjamin Disraeli

The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity. ☞ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ☞ Phyllis Diller,

In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all. ☞ Anne Sophie Swetchine

In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced. ☞ Robert Sexton

An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit. ☞ Pliny the Younger,

If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a hell of a lot of overlapping. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. ☞ W. Somerset Maugham

If two stand shoulder to shoulder against the gods, Happy together, the gods themselves are helpless Against them while they stand so. ☞ Maxwell Anderson

After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6º of marriage! ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship. ☞ Iris Murdoch

English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. ☞ Author Unknown

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ☞ Paul Sweeney

Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an account the florist had. ☞ Francis Rodman

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. ☞ Beverley Nichols

Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is. ☞ Author Unknown

Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage. ☞ Finnish Proverb

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. ☞ James H. Boren

A great poet has seldom sung of lawfully wedded happiness, but of free and secret love; and in this respect, too the time is coming when there will no longer be one standard of morality for poetry and another for life. To anyone tender of conscience, the ties formed by a free connection are stronger than the legal ones. ☞ Ellen Key, quoted by Sprading in

Any married man should forget his mistakes – no use two people remembering the same thing. ☞ Duane Dewel

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. ☞ Rita Rudner

Then marriage may be said to be past in all quietnesse, when the wife is blind, and the husband deafe. ☞ Thomas Heywood

Come, let’s be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with. ☞ Charles Dickens

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. ☞ Michel de Montaigne,

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot. ☞ Minnie Pearl

Love is grand; divorce a hundred grand. ☞ Author Unknown

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time. ☞ Balzac,

A single man has not nearly the value he would have in a state of union. He is an incomplete animal. He resembles the odd half of a pair of scissors. ☞ Benjamin Franklin

And when will there be an end of marrying? I suppose, when there is an end of living! ☞ Tertullian

The surest way to be alone is to get married. ☞ Gloria Steinem

[W]hen you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible. ☞ Nora Ephron,

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. ☞ Robert Frost

I never even believed in divorce until after I got married. ☞ Diane Ford

Adultery is the application of democracy to love. ☞ Henry Louis Mencken, "Sententiae,"

A dog is much like a married man, obeying his master’s voice for the sake of his master’s touch. ☞ Robert Brault

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. ☞ Andre Maurois

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. ☞ Elbert Hubbard

In the early years, you fight because you don’t understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do. ☞ Joan Didion

Marriage isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Let me tell you, honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce. ☞ Larry Gelbart,

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. ☞ Helen Rowland

In the long run wives are to be paid in a peculiar coin – consideration for their feelings. As it usually turns out this is an enormous, unthinkable inflation few men will remit, or if they will, only with a sense of being overcharged. ☞ Elizabeth Hardwick,

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. ☞ Helen Rowland

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. ☞ Jean Kerr,

Marriage changes passion – suddenly you’re in bed with a relative. ☞ Author Unknown

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up. ☞ Harry Emerson Fosdick

All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. ☞ Raymond Hull

One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it. ☞ George MacDonald

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. ☞ Socrates

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. ☞ Mark Twain

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you. ☞ Jean Rostand,

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ☞ Isadora Duncan

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. ☞ G.B. Shaw,

A first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel: expensive, but worth it. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ☞ Gene Perret

Here’s to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented! ☞ Heinrich Heine

The reason for much matrimony is patrimony. ☞ Ogden Nash

I figure that the degree of difficulty in combining two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown Manhattan. ☞ Claire Cloninger

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has. ☞ Ralph Waldo Emerson,

Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it. ☞ Friedrich Nietzsche

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. ☞ Author Unknown

Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves ‘em still two fools. ☞ William Congreve

Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. ☞ O.C. Ogilvie

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. ☞ Zsa Zsa Gabor

One should never know too precisely whom one has married. ☞ Friedrich Nietzsche

Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same. ☞ Oscar Wilde

Spouse: someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single. ☞ Author Unknown

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. ☞ Author Unknown

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it. ☞ Gene Perret

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. ☞ Mae West

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said. ☞ Author Unknown

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. ☞ Grace Hansen

The view that a peptic ulcer may be the hole in a man’s stomach through which he crawls to escape from his wife has fairly wide acceptance. ☞ John Allan Dalrymple Anderson

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. ☞ Charles Caleb Colton

I’ve been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out. ☞ Lee Grant

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ☞ Harlan Miller

The man who never in his life Has washed the dishes with his wife Or polished up the silver plate - He still is largely celibate. ☞ Christopher Morley,

A love that lasts for twenty years may be better than love, but it isn’t love. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

God created sex. Priests created marriage. ☞ Voltaire

To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation. ☞ E.W. Howe

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ☞ Henny Youngman

Marriage is a mistake every man should make. ☞ George Jessel

I guess walking slow getting married is because it gives you time to maybe change your mind. ☞ Virginia Cary Hudson,

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. ☞ Helen Rowland

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t. ☞ Author Unknown

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. ☞ Ogden Nash

 I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. ☞ Max Kauffman

Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in shade. ☞ Leo Buscaglia

Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. ☞ James C. Dobson

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. ☞ Lord Byron

The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane. ☞ Joseph Collins

We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It’s called love. ☞ Gene Perret

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love. ☞ Jackie Gleason

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. ☞ Bill Cosby,

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it. ☞ Lyndon B. Johnson

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. ☞ Ian Hay

Some marriages break up, and some do not, and in our world you can usually explain the former better than the latter. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I’d hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit. ☞ Jerry Hall

The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life. ☞ Richard Steele,

After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her – and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. ☞ Helen Rowland

Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan. ☞ Quentin Crisp

Wives are young men’s mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men’s nurses. ☞ Francis Bacon, "Of Marriage and Single Life,"

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." ☞ Herbert Spencer

He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. ☞ Mae West

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. ☞ A.P. Herbert

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake. ☞ Elbert Hubbard

What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow. ☞ Nathaniel Hawthorne

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ☞ H.L. Mencken,

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly. ☞ Peter De Vries

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ☞ Rita Rudner

Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. ☞ Ambrose Bierce,

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. ☞ George Bernard Shaw

It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight. ☞ John Stevenson

Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. ☞ Author Unknown

Mother-in-law: a woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. ☞ Author Unknown

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. ☞ Author Unknown

Wedding rings: the world’s smallest handcuffs. ☞ Author Unknown

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. ☞ Oscar Wilde

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. ☞ Stephen Leacock,

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. ☞ American Proverb

Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition. ☞ Samuel Pepys

Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is. ☞ Author Unknown

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. ☞ Ambrose Bierce,

Marriage is not a word – it is a sentence. ☞ Author Unknown

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition – with the possible exception of closet space. ☞ Gene Perret

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first. ☞ Adela Rogers St. Johns

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ☞ Sacha Guitry,

It isn’t tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it’s separating himself from all the others. ☞ Helen Rowland,

Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. ☞ Marlene Dietrich

So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three. ☞ Alexandre Dumas

Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect behind her. ☞ Ambrose Bierce,

If your husband and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie? ☞ Author Unknown

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ☞ George Levinger

Love-matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. ☞ Countess of Blessington

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. ☞ Sydney J. Harris

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger. ☞ George Eliot

The husband who doesn’t tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn’t know won’t hurt him. ☞ Leo J. Burke

You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self. ☞ Jerry

McCant Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. ☞ Jefferson Machamer

It’s easy to understand love at first sight, but how do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years? ☞ Author Unknown The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. ☞ Honore de Balzac,

Never marry for money. Ye’ll borrow it cheaper. ☞ Scottish Proverb

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. ☞ Henny Youngman

It’s a nasty divorce when they can’t agree on how to divvy up the His and Hers towels. ☞ Robert Brault

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. ☞ Gabriel García Márquez

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. ☞ Tommy Manville

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ☞ Socrates

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ☞ Ruth Bell Graham

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

One man’s folly is another man’s wife. ☞ Helen Rowland

Women hope men will change after marriage but they don’t; men hope women won’t change but they do. ☞ Bettina Arndt,

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. ☞ English Proverb

Wedlock is the deep, deep peace of the double bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise lounge. ☞ Mrs Patrick Campbell

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. ☞ Marilyn Monroe

A perfect marriage is one in which "I’m sorry" is said just often enough. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine. ☞ Honore de Balzac

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too. ☞ H.L. Mencken

Someone once asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. ☞ Gloria Steinem

Courtship to marriage is as a very witty prologue to a very dull play. ☞ William Congreve,

If you want to read about love and marriage, you’ve got to buy two separate books. ☞ Alan King

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake. ☞ Alexander Pope,

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. ☞ Evelyn Hendrickso

When the one man loves the one woman and the one woman loves the one man, the very angels desert heaven and come and sit in that house and sing for joy. ☞ The Brahma Sutras

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. ☞ Author Unknown

If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t marry. ☞ Anton Chekov

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle. ☞ Heinrich Heine

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing – and then marry him. ☞ Cher

If you haven’t seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven’t seen her smile her prettiest. ☞ Kin Hubbard

Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out, and such as are out wish to get in? ☞ Ralph Waldo Emerson,

When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. ☞ Prince Philip

You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, ’cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding. ☞ Jim

It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble. ☞ Kenny

Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she’s a householder. ☞ Thornton Wilder

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single. ☞ H.L. Mencken

Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance. ☞ Michel de Montaigne I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he’d be dead within the year. ☞ Bette Davis

Men should keep their eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. ☞ Madeleine de Scudery

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it. ☞ Josh Billings

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does. ☞ Groucho Marx

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married? ☞ Barbra Streisand

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married. ☞ Benjamin Disraeli

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar, a custom which is still continued. ☞ Helen Rowland,

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again…. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. ☞ Enid Bagnold,

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

The highest happiness on earth is marriage. ☞ William Lyon Phelps

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they’re married. ☞ Kin Hubbard

Two mothers-in-law. ☞ Lord John Russell

Though women are angels, yet wedlock’s the devil. ☞ Byron,

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. ☞ Joey Adams

A question asked in a Surrey school exam went: "Why do cocks crow early every morning?" A twelve-year-old replied: "My dad says they have to make the most of it while the hens are asleep." ☞ Quoted in the

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. ☞ H.L. Mencken

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert. ☞ Austin O’Malley

One shouldn’t be too inquisitive in life Either about God’s secrets or one’s wife. ☞ Geoffrey Chaucer,

A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers. ☞ African Proverb

A woman ought to look up to her husband, if only a half-inch. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,

A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills. A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor. ☞ Paul-Jean Toulet

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live. ☞ Mignon McLaughlin,